Love through need

How does familial love develop? When it comes to mothers, we hear a lot about hormones. We also hear about fatherly pride. But is that really all there is? In my opinion, familial love (husband-wife, brother-sister, parent-child) develops as a result of an interconnected relationship: need and selfless giving.

It is never more evident than with a newborn how much a human being relies completely on the selflessness of another person and it is through that practice of selflessness that a bond develops.

 
I have a son who is four years old and a son who is three months old and I think that the familial bond continues to grow over time as my husband and I care for them. They provide us with a lot of joy in their smiles, their voices and their hugs but love grows even before a child can return the favor of care with a smile.

However, both sons have had needs even before they were born. For nine months a mother has already given of her energy, figure and comfort to a strange child before that child is born. For years after the child is born, he or she will have many needs that must be fulfilled by family members. Even when the child is grown and independent, parents and other family members are frequently still consulted for advice, comfort and entertainment.


This, I think, is why parents are so crazy-protective and loving of their children. How much greater need is there than a child who relies on your care for years? How many sacrifices do parents and older siblings give up in order to help that child grow? How proud we are as parents when we see our children grow and become more capable individuals.

Everyone needs to be needed and we should recognize that we need others. It is through interaction and selfless service to our family members that the strongest bonds of familial love develop and it also brings us greater lasting satisfaction than anything we can do for ourselves.

This doesn't refer simply to physical needs, but it also applies to emotional needs. Every person has emotional needs, including the feeling of validation; the idea that what we think or feel matters. That is one important role of spouse or parent. Your family members need your reassurance that feelings and thoughts are important and not to be summarily dismissed. This goes both ways.

Why do I keep saying family? Because I am speaking of an intimate need, one that refers to physical and emotional care. I don't think it would be healthy to apply this perspective universally. We have friends and we should help our friends in an appropriate manner when possible, but it is also possible to become too intimate with and too reliant on friends.

On the other hand, I have also frequently used the word "parents." I understand that not everyone who helps raise a child is a biological parent. "Parent" can simply refer to any guardian who is primarily responsible for taking care of the child.

To summarize: familial bonds grow as we need and care for one another. Familial bonds are intimate and special, to be treated as something special. Our relationships with our friends are, and should be, different and separate than our relationships with our family.

What is Dungeons and Dragons (D&D)?

Think about little children and their favorite activities. Little girls often like to dress up or play house.

http://www.laurencasper.com/2010/04/19/just-little-girls-playing-house/

Little boys often like to be super heroes and fight bad guys.

Sadly, when we grow up we tend to lose connection with our imagination, though many adults still participate in theater, including improvisation. In theater, however, you cannot always choose your role. You usually play the character your director assigns to you.

http://www.highdesertcenterforthearts.com/Improv%20Theater%20group.htm

But what if you could pick what character you play and, not only that, but not be told what you have to do or say? You could let your imagination run wild and play the part of a wizard or ranger, such as with Gandalf or Aragorn from Lord of the Rings. You could BE the hero instead of reading about or watching one.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lord_of_the_Rings:_The_Return_of_the_King

That is where Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) comes in. D&D is a game, so it has its own rules. However, you get to choose what kind of person you'd like to play and you also get to decide how your character will behave. Participants will need access to the books particular to their game. The books detail rules for the chosen environment.

http://www.stargazersworld.com/category/legacy-dd/page/8/

First you pick your race. Do you want to play a tough orc, noble elf or an agile halfling?

http://cliffordbbowyer.com/index.html

Then you pick your class. Do you want to be a magic user or would you rather trust in your sword? More experienced players might be able to multi-class, receiving lesser/fewer abilities of multiple classes.

https://devcentral.f5.com/weblogs/macvittie/archive/2009/05/05/your-load-balancer-wants-to-take-a-level-of-fighter.aspx

You also pick your alignment. Are you going to have a generous character who thinks of nothing but looking out for others, or would you rather play a character who cares for no one but his or herself?

http://forum.level.ro/showthread.php?152223-Alignment-Test

You also roll dice and decide which of your stats (natural abilities) are going to benefit the most. Do you want to be really strong and hit things hard or do you want to be charismatic so everyone will like talking to you? Depending on your class and race, you also get to pick a variety of skills you think your party (you and the other players) will need. There are skills such a lock picking, riding, handling animals or performing.

http://www.wired.com/underwire/2008/02/first-look-at-n/

6-sided dice are necessary to get started in creating the character, since those dice determine your starting stats (strength, charisma, dexterity, etc.). Once you're ready to play, though, you will need a set of 7 dice to be used during combat, determining whether an attempted skill (such as lock picking) is successful, etc.

http://python2012.globalblogs.org/assignments/assignment-04-roll-the-dice/

This is all referring to table top gaming (unlike video gaming), and once characters are created and the dungeon master (DM) has an adventure ready, then everyone is set to go. Some games may include maps or figures to help illustrate the current scene. Then it's time to let your imagination go! While it is important to play your role as you originally determine (kind, mean, money-obsessed, vain), you are free to decide what you will say and what you will do.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabletop_role-playing_game

Every game has a DM who goes to the effort of creating/setting up the adventure for the players.  Each game also needs about three players at minimum. The DM decides when things happen (such as an ambush of five goblins or the boat runs up on some rocks and starts to sink) and also tells the players the results of player actions ("you hit the dragon"). He also creates npc's (non-player characters) to interact with the players. It's good to stay on the DM's good side, because he/she has the final say in every situation.

http://thedungeoneeringdad.blogspot.com/2012/02/dungeon-master-dog.html

While D&D started as a fantasy category, role playing has extended to many other categories, including sci-fi, western, anime, horror, modern, etc. Many favorite TV shows have been adapted to role-playing. These books will have adapted races, classes, etc., for that particular world.

http://uhaweb.hartford.edu/wnoell/SerenityRPG.html

Like many activities, some participants like to take things to extreme and it can create a bad name for the entire genre. Or publicity may distort actuality, giving the wrong impression. However, most D&D games are no more than a complex combination of a board game and improv. Just remember that your imagination is the limit and the way you play is completely up to you and the other participants.

http://www.meetup.com/bham-gamers/files/

City of the Dead, Cairo, Egypt

What comes to your mind when you hear the words, "City of the Dead?" Maybe a suburb of vampires or zombies?
While there are several places referred to as the "City of the Dead," I am specifically referring to Cairo, Egypt.

This photo of City of the Dead (Northern Cemetery) is courtesy of TripAdvisor

What's interesting about it besides the name? It is a cemetery inhabited by both living and dead.
 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/City_of_the_Dead_%28Cairo%29

The advantage of this necropolis is that there are mausoleums and other buildings for many of the tombs, providing shelter to those who need it.

http://www.touregypt.net/featurestories/city.htm

Some estimates have the number of living inhabitants in the City of the Dead to be around a million. Others say more or less.

This photo of City of the Dead (Northern Cemetery) is courtesy of TripAdvisor

Many Cairo citizens have actually found a place to take shelter and set up home (or shop) here in this huge cemetery.
Here you can see a glassblower at work.

This photo of City of the Dead (Northern Cemetery) is courtesy of TripAdvisor

Many have lived here for decades, and some have had family living here for generations.

 

http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/travel/egypt/cairo-city-of-the-dead/

I have never been there and I doubt I will travel to Cairo any time soon, but I came across the subject in my geography book and thought it to be an interesting topic.

Blender, a free 3d modeling program

So I mentioned Blender on my first post, mostly because this is where I hope to start spending a lot more time when my time allows it. As the title of this post describes, Blender is a free program used for creating 3d models (or probably 2d ones as well if you really want that). 4d models, you ask? Don't press, you might encourage my sister to actually try it. I will include artwork other people have created using Blender throughout this post so that you can see how powerful Blender really is.

Kajimba
ProMotion Studios
Blender Render

This example came from the gallery at blender.org.

When I say free, I am not referring to a "trial" version or a "limited" free version. I am talking about the entire program itself, courtesy of the Blender Foundation team. As you will see from the link, they earn revenue elsewhere, allowing them to continue developing this program free of charge. For anyone who has any possible interest in creating 3d computer art, please check it out!

http://www.worldstart.com/download-blender/

When installing it, I would recommend getting the zip archive version rather than using the installer. I tried the installer, but it didn't seem to give me read-write access to the program unless I had administrator privileges. Why is that a problem? Because it is safer to have your default (at least in Windows) login as an account other than your administrator account. I will ask my husband one of these days to write a post specifically on how to make your computer more secure from viruses and other digital intruders.

http://www.blenderguru.com/winners-hall-of-fame

Anyway, once you've installed the program, you may find the interface to be counter-intuitive (again, especially if you're a Windows user). That's where I recommend finding very basic tutorials, such as Blender 3D: Noob to Pro. There is a lot there and don't feel like you need to read it all. Just do enough until you feel comfortable navigating most of the interface. There will still be a lot of hotkeys to learn, but those can wait.

http://www.blenderguru.com/winners-hall-of-fame

Once you have a basic feel for Blender, head over to Blender Guru. This is an excellent website maintained by a fellow named Andrew Price. He regularly puts up new tutorials and most of his tutorials list experience level (beginner, intermediate, advanced), the topic being taught (modeling, texturing, animation, etc.) and the length of each video. Even being comfortable with the interface, I find myself spending about 2-4 four minutes following along for each minute of video. One nice thing about his tutorials is that even though Andrew doesn't take time to tell you every button he's pressing, he has his version of Blender set up so that you can see the hotkeys he is using on the bottom-left side of the screen.

Andrew has also held competitions for Blender artists and you can see many amazing works of art. The sand castle and Christmas pug pictures came from there.

http://www.blenderguru.com/products

Finally, check out the movies done by the Blender Foundation. I purchased the DVDs for one of them, Sintel. The DVDs contain all the material and models used to create the movie. Here is Sintel in movie form. The length is 15 minutes.

Again, if you have any possible interest in digital 3d modeling, please be sure to check out Blender!

Preparing ahead for pancakes

There's a lot to do on a daily basis and, in my opinion, anything to help reduce and simplify the daily routine, the better.

Here in our apartment in Poland, we don't have our customary conveniences of a dryer, dishwasher or access to pancake mix. Also, I don't know about you, but I do not feel like cooking breakfast when I first get up (okay, I generally never feel like cooking, and I bake on rare occasion). On the other hand, I notice my family and I are more irritable when we have cereal instead of something with more substance like sausage, eggs or even pancakes.

So I started preparing ahead for pancakes. Maybe it is an idea that will do that little bit to ease some strain for others.

First, I take the dry ingredients of my favorite pancake recipe and put one recipe's worth into a single honey or peanut butter jar. The jars here are small and just the right size.

I then beat the egg, milk and oil I need in a large measuring cup (I rarely use it for measuring, because I hardly ever cook in metric).

Then the pre-mixed dry ingredients are poured in and everything is mixed together. Not only do I not have a large mixing bowl to clean, but I have a measuring cup with a spout, therefore no need for a cup just for scooping.

It's quick and by the time I'm done, I've dirtied a pan, a spatula, the large measuring cup, a fork, a spoon, the jar and a regular measuring cup for the milk and oil.
 

Starting from scratch, I would have used a mixing bowl, several measuring spoons, some more measuring cups and flour all over the place. That would be each time I made pancakes instead of just one day where I made a handful of dry batches.

Paul's favorite breakfast is pancakes, so it works out well.

My privilege of being a wife and mother

Welcome! Witam!


Don't get me wrong from the description of this blog. I love my family.
My husband, Ryan, is an International Relations graduate student at the University of Warsaw in Poland, courtesy of a Fulbright grant.

My son, Paul, is an intelligent four-year-old, who has picked up the basics of reading, quickly grasps spatial relationships, loves video games and makes us smile with his quirky comments and enthusiasm for new things.

Earlier this year, we were blessed with a new addition named Martin, who had the unique opportunity to be an American citizen born in Poland. He brings us joy in his smiles and by simply being cute.

And finally, here is a picture of me with Paul awhile back.

Part of the reason I set up this blog is that it frustrates me that, like many other mothers, it seems like my individual abilities and interests get lost in the public image of my relationship with my family. I also do not think I identify with the common perception of motherhood: cooking, cleaning, play dates, crafts, scrapbooking, etc. I would love to hear from mothers who feel the same way.

I do talk about my husband and sons a lot and I often share fun information from our recent history. However, I also like to share thoughts and artwork regarding psychology (my current major), computers, video games, Blender (a fantastic free 3d modeling program), fantasy novels, movies, RiverMyst (our family software company), current software projects, medicine, politics, crime, language and ideas I have to more easily organize time and items.

To get started, I would like to share my first unique 3d model render:

The logo was designed by my sister, Kirsti, and I learned to create a 3d version using a tutorial from Blender Guru.