Attachment Behavior: The Causes and Manifestations of Secure and Insecure Attachments

Attachment Behavior: The Causes and Manifestations of Secure and Insecure Attachments

In an effort to evaluate the relationship between infants and caregivers, researchers developed a laboratory method termed the “Strange Situation.” Using the Strange Situation, infants are introduced to strangers, separated from caregivers and reunited with caregivers. Infants were then classified into different attachment categories depending on their reactions to the strangers and to their caregivers (Berk, 2012, p. 266).

The term “attachment” refers to the intimate relationships between individuals and relationship partners. However, sometimes support by a relationship partner is unavailable or unsympathetic when needed. This can cause individual to start experiencing emotional troubles and self-doubt and develop attachment anxiety (Mikulincer, Shaver, Sapir-Lavid, & Avihou-Kanza, 2009, p. 615). In an appropriate relationship between mother and infant, the infant can rely on the mother for feelings of security. The infant then feels safe to explore the environment as long as the mother is nearby (Cicchetti, Rogosch & Toth, 2006, p. 624). The way a parent chooses to spend time with a child is less applicable in terms of attachment than general responsiveness and availability. Attachment can be predicted to a degree before the child is even born and attachment is evidently more a result of behavior than genetics (Lyons-Ruth, 1996, p. 66).

In the Strange Situation, securely attached children may display some distress when the parent leaves and they exhibit positive reactions upon his or her return. When distressed, a secure child looks for comfort from the parent and is easily soothed by the parent. Secure children also expect caregivers to be responsive (Berk, 2012, p. 266).

There are three aspects that make up a secure attachment between an individual and a relationship partner: “(a) If one encounters an obstacle and/or becomes distressed, one can approach a relationship partner for help; (b) this partner will be available and supportive when one asks for support; and (c) one will experience relief and comfort as a result of proximity to this person” (Mikulincer et. al, 2009, p. 615). Individuals who are securely attached can rely on receiving support from partners when they need it. They do not need to use defense mechanisms that can hurt themselves or their relationships with partners. They are optimistic about the reactions of partners, do not worry about being treated negatively, and are able to be open about intimate issues. Relationship partners in securely attached relationships enforce the idea that individuals are worthy of time and attention (Mikulincer et. al, 2009, p. 616). Securely attached individuals cope more easily with stress and are more likely to look for alternatives to problems rather than focus only on possible negative results. These individuals are also more likely to notice positive behaviors about others and are more likely to forgive occasional errant behavior (Mikulincer et. al, 2009, p. 631).

Sensitive parental responsiveness includes prompt response to a child’s distress and also being generally open to the attentions of the infant (Lyons-Ruth, 1996, p. 66). Mothers of infants who are securely attached are also more likely to be sensitive to their children during play (Fuertes, Lopes-dos-Santos, Beeghly, & Tronick, 2009, p. 328). In addition, secure children are better able to interact with peers (Fagot, 1997, p. 490). It is possible that children who are securely attached will approach strange peers differently than children who did not develop a secure attachment and thus receive a more positive response. Secure children are also seen as less dependent. They are more likely to make friends and participate longer in group activities (Fagot, 1997, p. 497).

Unlike securely attached children, children who are described as having an avoidant attachment generally treat the parent and the stranger in the same fashion as seen in the Strange Situation. They do not display positive reactions when the mother returns and they are not likely to cling (Berk, 2012, p. 267). Infants with avoidant attachments not only treat caregivers with no more warmth than a stranger, but also initially avoid them at a time of reunion (Lyons-Ruth, 1996, p. 66). Research has shown that mothers of these infants do not provide a comforting touch, are often angry, and intrude upon the infant without regard for the infant’s need. These infants have learned to manage their distress by not displaying it and instead focusing on nearby objects, though they may remain anxious. They also stay away from anything that may heighten their distress, since they understand that a comforting touch will not be available to them to lessen that distress (Lyons-Ruth, 1996, p. 67). Insecure-avoidant infants are more likely to close their eyes, mouth objects or look away from their mothers while their mothers are associating with them. Mothers of infants who are classified as having avoidant attachments are more likely to display controlling behavior during play (Fuertes et al., 2009, p. 328). Avoidant children may also learn to withdraw as a result of being over stimulated at inappropriate times (Berk, 2012, p. 270).

When assessing the ability of children to overcome obstacles, Fagot (1997) observed that children with avoidant personalities “had fewer object struggles than did secure children.” In addition, girls with avoidant personalities have more trouble with classmates than girls with secure attachments. Avoidant children are more likely to use avoidance or act defensively in their interactions with others. However, even though avoidant children may remain withdrawn and struggle with personal relationships, they may still develop the ability to give favorable public presentations (p. 490).

Avoidant personality disorder (AvPD) is a condition given to those with avoidant attachments. People who are diagnosed with AvPD are more anxious about negative responses from others and experience lower levels of self-esteem. AvPD is closely related to social phobia (SP) (Eggum, Eisenberg, Spinrad, Valiente, Edwards, Kupfer, & Reiser, 2009, p. 815). Children with stronger behavioral inhibitions may be more likely to exhibit AvPD, because they are less likely to participate in novel activities (Eggum et al., 2009, p. 816). AvPD and SP are both related to negative emotionality, and fearfulness may be a cause of avoidant behavior. Depression and anger are also related to AvPD and SP, though it is unclear whether they are causes or results (Eggum et al., 2009, p. 819). In addition to low feelings of self-worth, AvPD has also been linked to strong feelings of pessimism (Eggum et al., 2009, p. 820). Individuals seeking emotional treatment, such as those with AvPD, usually reported being abused (whether physically or emotionally) and/or neglected during childhood. Avoidant individuals are also likely to have a combination of genetics and childhood environment that encouraged the disorder (Eggum et al., 2009, p. 832). Aspects related to shyness can be due to avoidant withdrawal, but they can also be the result of temperament (Eggum et al., 2009, p. 833).

People who develop avoidant attachment distrust the motives of their closest acquaintances and end up distancing themselves as a result (Mikulincer et. al, 2009, p. 616). In addition, individuals who experience avoidant attachment are likely to extend their feelings of avoidance to their spouses, resulting in less marital commitment and more cases of infidelity. They have already learned to rely only upon themselves, thereby avoiding feelings of dependence on a partner that a healthy marriage requires (DeWall, Lambert, Slotter, Pond, Deckman, Finkel, Luchies, & Fincham, 2011, p. 1304). People with avoidant attachment display more positive attitudes about infidelity and also pay attention to attractive alternatives (DeWall et al., 2011, p. 1313). However, they do not seem to commit infidelity in order to hurt a partner. They simply seem to lack the inhibition that people with secure attachments are more likely to have and follow in order to stay in happy relationships (DeWall et al., 2011, p. 1314).

Another form of attachment is resistant attachment. When describing resistant attachment as it relates to the Strange Situation, Berk (2012) asserts that resistant children do not feel safe leaving their mothers and may not be easily calmed. They often show angry, aggressive behavior (p. 267). Resistant children generally have unresponsive caregivers (Berk, 2012, p. 270). These infants also are more likely to displays behaviors such as crying, pushing or turning away while being held by their mothers. Mothers of infants who display resistant attachment are more likely to be unresponsive to their infants during play (Fuertes et al., 2009, p. 328). These mothers are also more likely to have lower levels of education (Fuertes et al., 2009, p. 327).

In evaluation resistant children in social settings, it is evident they are less likely to be approached by peers. They are also more likely to use coercive methods and may try to draw attention to themselves through clowning around or tattle telling. They are also less able than secure children to maintain relationships (Fagot, 1997, p. 490). Positive gestures from resistant and avoidant children are more likely to be met with negative gestures from other children. However, children of avoidant and resistant personalities will have different methods of interacting with peers (Fagot, 1997, p. 495). When Fagot evaluated the association between children and their peers, he learned that securely attached and insecurely attached children, even though their gestures may be similar, are likely to receive different responses from peers (Fagot, 1997, p. 495). However, secure attachment does not guarantee positive relationships with peers (Fagot, 1997, p. 496).

The last method of attachment listed by Berk (2012) in regards to the Strange Situation is disorganized/disoriented attachment. It is characterized by infants who “show confused, contradictory behaviors—for example, looking away while the parent is holding them or approaching the parent with flat, depressed emotion. Most display a dazed facial expression, and a few cry out unexpectedly after having calmed down or display odd, frozen postures” (p. 267). Disorganized attachment refers to attachment behavior where the behavior of the parent is unpredictable (Lyons-Ruth, 1996, p. 67). Children who develop disorganized-disoriented attachments are likely to have caregivers who developed insecure attachments as children themselves with their own caregivers (Cicchetti et al., 2006, p. 625).

Aggressive behavior has been linked to disorganized attachment. Aggressive behavior is divided into two different categories: “oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) and conduct disorder (CD).” ODD is generally a prerequisite to CD and often will be witnessed in children first. ODD includes behaviors of disobedience, backtalk and tantrums. CD includes behaviors such as arson, fighting and stealing (Lyons-Ruth, 1996, p. 64). Children with aggressive temperaments are likely to raise their own children the same way they had been raised, often involving coercive behavior. Mothers of aggressive children are more likely to blame their children’s personalities for behavioral problems and less likely to recognize the problems in their own behavior (Lyons-Ruth, 1996, p. 65). Both boys and girls with mothers who are hostile are more likely to exhibit aggressive behavior. Their mothers often do not live with a partner. Children with disorganized attachment patterns are likely to exhibit helpless or depressed behavior. (Lyons-Ruth, 1996, p. 67). Unlike securely attached children who are surprised when caregivers are unresponsive, insecurely attached children (including those with disorganized attachments) do not even recognize a difference between responsive and unresponsive caregivers (Berk, 2012, p. 266).

Children with disorganized attachment are also likely to experience continued high levels of stress after being assessed, whereas avoidant children had intermediate levels of stress and secure children were relatively relaxed after assessment. In evaluating the parents of disorganized children, it is seen that over sixty percent of children of adolescent mothers have shown “disorganized attachment patterns” (Lyons-Ruth, 1996, p. 68). It is likely that a child develops a disorganized attachment after failing in trying to establish a predictable relationship with his or her caregiver (Lyons-Ruth, 1996, p. 69). Mothers of infants with disorganized attachment are also less likely to have a positive perspective regarding their infants’ temperaments (Lyons-Ruth, 1996, p. 70) and children with disorganized attachment are likely to have been maltreated (Berk, 2012, p. 270).

About fifteen percent of disorganized infants come from middle-class two-parent families. However, in cases where mothers have depression, drink alcohol or are adolescent, the number of children with disorganized attachment climbs to over eighty percent. On the other hand, infants with physical disabilities are not more likely to attain a disorganized attachment pattern (Lyons-Ruth, 1996, p. 67).

Concerning insecure people in general, babies who are unable to form an intimate bond with an adult develop emotional problems. They are also less able to interpret facial expressions (Berk, 2012, p. 269). Insecure infants are likely to be held less affectionately and to be treated with resentment. Difficult babies and preterm babies with depressed mothers are more likely to develop insecure attachments (Berk, 2012, p. 271). Less-secure individuals are more likely to misunderstand caring behavior by partners and are more likely to magnify their own need, resulting in greater distress. They also see and dream about people needing support and relief from distress, but unable to find it (Mikulincer et. al, 2009, p. 631).

Proper care giving for a child involves providing for the child’s physical, emotional and educational needs. Children who are maltreated generally experience physical or emotional abuse (Cicchetti et al., 2006, p. 627). They are likely to develop mental and physical issues as they grow older. For this reason, it is important to intervene in cases where children have been maltreated (Cicchetti et al., 2006, p. 624). Therapists have been able to help mothers differentiate between their own childhood experiences from those the mothers have with their children. Therapists also helped mothers develop empathy with their infants (Cicchetti et al., 2006, p. 630). Mothers who had maltreated children are more likely to have experienced abuse and neglect in their own childhoods and are more likely to still be angry with their own mothers (Cicchetti et al., 2006, p. 635).

Two methods of intervention for maltreated infants dramatically increased the number of infants who were securely attached and greatly reduced the number of infants who experienced disorganized attachment (Cicchetti et al., 2006, pp. 638-639). The first method involved training the mother in child development, parenting, stress management and seeking out social support. The second method changed how negative mother-child models affected current relationships (Cicchetti et al., 2006, p. 625). Mothers with maltreated infants have less available family support and feel less competent as a parent. They also expressed ignorance in knowing how to raise a child (Cicchetti et al., 2006, p. 642). On the other hand, “infants who have been maltreated are highly likely to maintain disorganized/dis-oriented attachments in the absence of intensive efforts to improve the mother–child relationship and parenting” (Cicchetti et al., 2006, p. 644).

The study yielded positive results in the knowledge that mother-child relationships can be greatly improved. On the other hand, the study also displays sobering evidence that children with disorganized attachments are at great risk of maladaptive development if intervention does not occur (Cicchetti et al., 2006, p. 645). However, successful intervention likely relies on knowledgeable, experienced therapists (Cicchetti et al., 2006, p. 644).

Overall, secure attachments are more likely to persist than insecure attachments. In some cultures where mothers are quick to respond to the needs of the infant, avoidant attachment is nonexistent (Berk, 2012, p. 268). These studies explain the definitions and causes of various forms of attachment as well as outlining the benefits of secure attachment and difficulties of insecure attachments.

References

Berk, L. E. (2012). Infants and Children: Prenatal through middle childhood. (7^th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Cicchetti, D., Rogosch, F. A., & Toth, S. L. (2006). Fostering secure attachment in infants in maltreating families through preventive interventions. Development and Psychopathology, 18(3), 623-49. http://search.proquest.com/docview/201698289?accountid=8289

DeWall, C. N., Lambert, N. M., Slotter, E. B., Pond, R. S., Deckman, T., Finkel, E. J., Luchies, L. B., & Fincham, F. D. (2011). So far away from ones partner, yet so close to romantic alternatives: Avoidant attachment, interest in alternatives, and infidelity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101(6), 1302-1316. doi:10.1037/a0025497

Eggum, N. D., Eisenberg, N., Spinrad, T. L., Valiente, C., Edwards, A., Kupfer, A. S., & Reiser, M. (2009). Predictors of withdrawal: Possible precursors of avoidant personality disorder. Development and Psychopathology, 21(3), 815-38. doi:10.1017/S0954579409000443

Fagot, B. I. (1997). Attachment, parenting, and peer interactions of toddler children. Developmental Psychology, 33(3), 489-499. doi:10.1037/0012-1649.33.3.489

Fuertes, M., Lopes-dos-Santos, P., Beeghly, M., & Tronick, E. (2009). Infant coping and maternal interactive behavior predict attachment in a portuguese sample of healthy preterm infants. European Psychologist, 14(4), 320-331. doi:10.1027/1016-9040.14.4.320

Mikulincer, M., Shaver, P. R., Sapir-Lavid, Y., & Avihou-Kanza, N. (2009). What’s inside the minds of securely and insecurely attached people? The secure-base script and its associations with attachment-style dimensions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 97(4), 615-633. doi:10.1037/a0015649

Lyons-Ruth, K. (1996). Attachment relationships among children with aggressive behavior problems: The role of disorganized early attachment patterns. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 64(1), 64-73. doi:10.1037/0022-006X.64.1.64

Natural reactions as a parent

When our first son was born, my husband and I struggled with the idea of letting our child "cry it out." When he came home from the hospital, it was impossible for him to sleep at night. Looking back, I realize it may have been due to over-stimulation (too much noise and too many people) during the day, but whatever the reason, we ended up holding him much of the day and night simply so he would sleep.

There are some things that may come naturally to us, such as anger and the desire to hurt someone, which we must resist. However, there are other things (call it "instinct"), especially with parenting, that I think we do not give enough value. For example, consider the following list:

- Feeling apprehensive and a little sad as we drop our child off at school or with a babysitter


- Being unable to focus on anything around us when our child is crying


- Feeling pride and accomplishment as our child proudly shows off a new ability or piece of knowledge


- Wanting to hold and comfort our child when he or she is sad or hurt (i.e. distressed)


- The desire to brag about our child to others

- Feeling like no child can possibly be as good-looking/accomplished/well-behaved as our child


- Wanting to help our child achieve as much as possible


- The desire to smack anyone who hurts our child


- Feeling depressed and desiring to help when we hear about or witness another child who is suffering

We often hear (and even want) our children to "figure it out," or "learn to be independent." While independence certainly has its place, confidence and independence will come naturally as parents provide the support children need.

We also talk about independence when referring to women. Unfortunately, in today's society, "mother" is seen as no better than "servant," with the idea that those who can't do, have children. The role of "housewife" is a last resort and if you're a housewife, you must be unskilled; unable to achieve success in the professional world. At least, that is the perception.

As a side note, many women put off marriage as a result of this concept that school, work, professional success should come first. Once they decide they really do want to "chain" themselves with a spouse, they are of an age where it is often too late. They have lost a lot of their physical attraction, sometimes along with their ability and energy to bear and raise children. There is a great book on this idea called "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough," by Lori Gottlieb, I'd highly recommend; not only for single women, but for married women as well. As a married woman, you come to better appreciate who you married.

First, let me just say that children and a happy family can be more rewarding than anything else that you can do. I realize this blog is about independence outside of motherhood, and it is important to still be your own person with talents you can expand, but I also realize that nothing is as important to me as my family, including my children.

Secondly, I strongly believe that the feelings we experience with our children should not be taken lightly. There is a reason we (as mothers) cannot hear anything else when our children cry. There is a reason why we hesitate to leave them with someone outside of the family. There is a reason why we want to run to them and comfort them when they are distressed (though yes, sometimes we also want to go stark-raving mad). You know, like the whole idea of "I can complain about my children, but if you dare say anything negative about them, I will punch your lights out"?

That being said, I felt quite vindicated as I wrote a literature review for my psychology class on infant and toddler development on attachment theory. It became quite evident that a child needs a secure attachment to a parent in order to become a well-adjusted individual. To develop a secure attachment, it is important for a parent to be responsive to the child and not to ignore the child when he or she is distressed. So, without further ado, my next post will be a copy of the paper I submitted.